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Gladys, Gladys, full of grace Help me find a parking space. --> If you get a parking ticket and there's another car parked illegally, slip the thing under THEIR wipers and be on your way. ^^ --> If you can't afford a trip to the sauna, sit in your car in a bath towel during the summer with the windows rolled up for a few hours (errr, Mika's not so sure she wants to try this). Remember to drink water every hour! --> If you want to win every argument, fight with yourself. --> Excellent Ways to Lose Your Job: Mime. Wear a parka in the middle of the summer. Invent and talk to imaginary friends. Speak only in Pig Latin. When asked a question, answer by playing charades. --> Jumbo-size Post-its make cheap window shades. --> If you're getting grilled for being late, just say it was bad karma! "Birdshit landed on me and I had to go back home and change." --> Better yet, if you want to miss a good few days, say you're having minor surgery. Especially effective when you look perfectly healthy. People are gonna start imagining gross things. --> With your boss's business card, write "Nice job, you idiot!" on the back and stick on the windshields of badly-parked cars. --> On your résumé, don't say you sat around and got stoned all the time. Instead, say you did extensive pharmaceutical research. --> When a guy says he really gets into talking about feelings, he really means "I'll talk about feelings if it gets me into your pants." --> If you mumble, look into a job as a receptionist. XD --> At a job interview, eye contact is key. However, don't make eye contact and lick your lips, too. o__O --> Your boss says: "We have a change in strategy." What he means is, "We have no idea what we're doing." --> If you're looking for a cheap thrill...streak. |
Random Facts My Bishie List! My Classes Links Out
Political Junk My Notebook You Know Today is Gonna Suck When... What I've Learned from Cameron Tuttle
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Sango and Miroku belong to Takahashi Rumiko | ||||